Tuesday, January 19, 2016

last week of being a child.

My birthday is on a Wednesday this year. That means that Wednesday the 13th was my last Wednesday of being seventeen and BY EXTENSION THE LAST WEDNESDAY OF MY CHILDHOOD.

I decided that on each last weekday of being seventeen I was going to either do something that I had never done before, or do something that I always used to do when I was a younger. So here's what actually happened.

January 13th: My last Wednesday
Something I've never done: gotten cavities filled

I never ever had cavities when I was little. Now I have eleven, which I feel like would disappoint my first grade self, but it's okay because now my truth for Two Truths and a Lie has changed from "I've never had a cavity" to "the number of cavities I have is the same as my favorite number," and not very many people can say that, so it looks like I won this one.

January 14th: My last Thursday
Something I always used to do: make a list of baby names

I used to do this all the time. I remember when it was a regular topic of discussion at recess. Wow, remember recess? I hadn't made a list in so long so I did some research and compiled my favorite ones.

Girls: Lily, Claire, Sienna, Lucy, Anne, Luna, Emerson, Harper, Penelope, Charly, Evangeline, Gwen, Carmen, Brenna, Margaret, Hero, Andie, Genevieve

Boys: Charlie, Ryan, Will, Desmond, Samuel, Benjy, Thomas, Wesley, Luke, Cris, Brendan, Eric, Rowan, Brodie, Neal, Parker, Nicky, James, Teddy

I can't decide between them though so looks like I'll have to have 36 kids.

January 15th: My last Friday
Something I always used to do: get together for a girls night and say we're going to watch a movie but actually just talk the whole time

We were going to have a Star Wars marathon. But it's probably for the best that we didn't. The weak never would have lasted, and with our packed schedules and everything we really just needed time to catch up with each other.

January 16th: My last Saturday
Something I've never done: eaten a muffin from the inside out.

There you go.

January 17th: My last Sunday

Something I've never done: read the entire book of Haggai in the Old Testament

I don't even think I knew that the book of Haggai was a book. wHAT OTHER COOL THINGS DON'T I KNOW ABOUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DISCOVER

January 18th: My last Monday
Something I always used to do: watch PBS Kids TV shows

I made a list today of all the shows I remember watching as a kid, and searched for them on YouTube. I was able to watch an episode of Cyberchase, an episode of Dragon Tales, and half an episode of Between the Lions (gotta finish it tomorrow, I left off at the adventures of Cliff Hanger and as I'm typing this I'm realizing that that is hilarious).

The theme songs give me serious nostalgia.

What I still can't find ANYWHERE is Episode 4060 of Sesame Street, where young Natalie Portman goes into Hooper Store and in a really cute raspy voice asks Alan for a glass of pineapple juice. Seriously, for the longest time I thought I might have hallucinated that scene because I couldn't find any trace of it anywhere until recently. I can find some clips of the episode, but not the pineapple juice scene. I'm not done searching. I will find you.

January 19th: My last Tuesday
Something I've never done: written a letter to my past self

Before I turn serious with this letter, I would like to say that the last thing I will have eaten in my childhood is a McDonald's Happy Meal, which is totally bringing it full circle. I ordered it myself, I didn't even pretend that it was for my little brother or anything. The only regret I have is that when they asked me what I wanted to drink, I panicked and said, "Oh, just a cup for water," when what I could have gotten was a plastic bottle of chocolate milk with a straw, what was I thinking.

So the letter. Today I sat by my bed and listened to the Dancing Queen on repeat and made the most of my last moments being young and sweet only seventeen while I wrote a letter.

I wrote this letter to my 6th grade self. It's everything I wish 12-year-old Nicole would have known, from all the things she should not have worried about, to all the things that she had to look forward to. The 6th grade was probably the most vulnerable part of my life, and sometimes I wish I could appear to that girl and show her that everything is going to turn out fine, that after this difficult year, things just get exponentially better. I learn how to do my hair, I start dressing how I like, I meet amazing people, I find things that I absolutely love doing. And I think I turned out okay.

Maybe someday I'll be brave enough to post the entire 7-page-long thing, but for now, here is a small part.

Dear 6th grade self,

17 things I learned after 17 years

1. Singing is life. Do not be afraid to sing. Like your voice, and join choir because in there you will meet the most passionate, genuine people, and you'll find yourself in the process.
2. Things you loved as a kid will really become cool again. Like naps, PBS Kids, and McDonald's.
3. Your family is amazing. Like seriously. You lucked out. Love them to pieces.
4. A lukewarm life is no good. Live passionately and get excited about things.
5. Star Wars really is cool.
6. That part of you that needs to travel will not be disappointed.
7. Brooke is the greatest friend you could have ever asked for.
8. Like seriously if she was a boy I would tell you to marry her.
9. Graci, Kaitlyn, and Amanda really love you and you really love them.
10. Practice writing and drawing and you will get better at writing and drawing.
11. It is always better to be honest.
12. Your parents will save you from many a disaster if you will just listen to them.
13. Your dedication to the gospel of Jesus Christ will be the biggest blessing to you.
14. Trust the Holy Ghost.
15. You are sensitive and that is okay.
16. You will have straight teeth someday soon.
17. Be yourself. Like what you actually like. Do what you actually love doing. Be with people who actually make you happy. You will be so incredibly grateful because of it.

Love your 17-year-old self,

Nicole <3

Here's to blue armchairs, blanket forts, Michael Jackson, backyard lawns, Enya, summertime, Harry Potter, McDonald's fries, snuggling, Legos, VHS players, Disney movies, board games, trading cards, crayons, OMSI, Barbie dolls, Razor scooters, stuffed animals, rock collections, turtlenecks, Saturday morning cartoons, tuna fish crackers, wild violets perfume, straight across bangs, watercolor painting, and Kix cereal.



  1. Oh if I could just squeeze you and squeeze you and squeeze you!!! I so love this! I need to do this for my last week in my 20s! It's about to get real and 30!! Hope you are having the best birthday Nicole! love you to bits!

    1. Totally do it!! I want to hear about it! Real and 30 hahahaha :) Love you so so so so so much Tess!!!!!!
      Nicole <3

  2. I can so relate to the baby names one. When I was about 7, I received two dolls for Christmas, a boy and a girl. I agonized all day over what to name them. Finally, I decided that I would not give them permanent names, but rather new names every day, since I couldn't bear to pick just one name each and have it be forever!! And it's extra fun to notice which names still are faves when you ARE naming your own children and not just for pretend fun. I never really considered the name "Ruby" as a kid, but I did always like the name "Benjamin." Plus, you can double up your favorites by having sweet middle names or even hyphenated first names (like my son Max-Pascal). See, I just reduced your family size from 36 to 18, tops ;) Welcome to the wonderfully complex and rich world of adulthood, dear Nicole. As you said, you had a very good childhood as a foundation, so I am pretty confident you'll weather any storm that comes your way. Hugs and Happy Birthday!!!

    1. That doll thing is the cutest thing EVER, oh my gosh!!! And yeah I was thinking about that too, how there are 3 or 4 names that have stayed the same over the years! And lol that is perfect, I'll just combine all of them so my kids can have 6 middle names!

      I'm totally grateful for my childhood, and I'm super excited to be an adult! AHHH! Thank you so much for everything! Also I have a favor to ask you, I'm going to shoot you an email soon.. Hugs!

      Nicole :)

  3. How did I get so lucky to have you as my best friend?! Ugh. Happy Birthday <3 here's to Ted and Penelop(e) ;)

  4. Happy Birthday Nicole!!! It's an understatement to say I enjoy reading your thoughts and getting a peek into your life. I'm always grateful that I found you in this blogging world :D

    I hate it when I'm trying to find a certain clip from a tv show or a movie and I can't find it ANYWHERE!!

    1. I am so glad I found you too!!!! I love reading your posts and seeing how college and everything is going! (oh and following you on pinterest hahaha!) You are a beautiful daughter of God and I'm so grateful for your example!!!
      Nicole :)
      p.s. and yeah isn't that annoying??? I'm still looking!!

  5. Dear Nicole,
    Hi you don't know me but I happened to come across your blog and I wanted to say I loved this post and a lot of what you told your younger self I have to say I'd tell the younger me the same things. Including that Brooke is the best of friends. My friend Brooke is still my dearest friend at 34. I hope you take time to travel, take time to love the people in front of you. And even when you feel invincible..remember to rest, take in the moments and sabbath. (and DO TRAVEL. DO MISSIONS.)
    There is a mini letter-not from your older self, but from someone who is older.. :)

  6. Hey Nicole! I don't even know if you remember me, but I had a thought to ask how you were doing. You are in college now, right? Where are you going? I would love to know what'what's going on with you. You are awesome and I hope that life is treating you well. I hope you have a wonderful day. :)

    1. Oh my gosh Nicole!! Of course I remember you!! I'm doing so great! I'm up at BYU now, I love it! I'm hopefully going to declare my pre-art major soon, so that will be fun! What are you doing these days?? I hope life is good! It's so amazing to hear from you, it's been so long! Have an amazing weekend, I'm so excited to catch up!

    2. WAIT, I GO TO BYU TOO. WE HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME CITY FOR MONTHS! That is so cool! I remember that you have amazing art and that is fantastic that you are pursuing that talent :). I am a declared Biology major and I am hoping to become a cardiac surgeon. It's crazy that we have been at the same school all this time! I guess that is one more thing we have in common. I hope Utah is treating you well. I have lived in Provo my whole life and I think it's the bee's knees. It is lovely to hear from you!

    3. Girl what?! We have to meet up sometime before this semester ends!! It would be so cool to finally meet in person! That is so amazing that you want to be a cardiac surgeon. You will be amazing at that. But seriously, we should get together! My Facebook is Nicole Pederson, if you want to look me up, we can chat! :)